Trying

The guided meditation and sound bath had begun just a few moments ago, and I was already feeling more relaxed and centered. We were asked to work on making our breaths equal…3 seconds inhale, 3 seconds exhale, 4 seconds inhale, 4 seconds exhale. The practice was quickly effective and I made a quick mental note to try it again sometime. Then, our instructor said, “Now take a moment of gratitude and,…”. I immediately considered what my gratitude might be to God, but then she continued, “give yourself thanks for something you’ve done or something you are.”

My thoughts stopped in their tracks. A thought of gratitude to myself? What would that be? I don’t usually do that. I was ready to thank Him who I thank every day. I was ready to thank anyone else, but for some reason the idea of thanking myself seemed uncomfortable. I didn’t want to. I tried to think of something acceptable but quickly said ‘no’ to myself and thought things like, ‘that’s being too full of yourself’ or ‘that’s too…something.’

Then I decided on trying. I am thankful to myself for trying. I felt comfortable with that. That wasn’t giving myself too much credit. Trying what exactly, I’m not sure. But I do try quite a few things. I try hard actually. Trying to be good at everything I do. I felt grateful to myself for trying.